Sales Meeting Etiquette

As you prepare for your upcoming sales meeting, we here at TSW wish you a Happy New Year, and offer these bits of tried and true wisdom for your upcoming event:

Pack Ear Plugs – 2 sets.

• If you have to share a room, and your roommate snores, this will be a life saver.
• You pack 2 sets, the other for your roommate in case you snore.

Bring a Jacket

• Dont care if its in Miami, there will be one room that will be kept at 45 degrees. Odds are that this is the room in which you will have to spend the majority of your time.

Dress Nice

• You know those $100 jeans you have that look like they were beat to hell in a bar fight or that top that is exactly the one you saw on “Dog, the Bounty Hunter”? Yeah, don’t wear those.
• While you should avoid looking like a stiff, you don’t want homeless people offering to put you up for the night.

Act “Clean”

• One of my former sales meeting roommates did not brush his teeth before going to bed.

• Yeah, thats exactly how I feel.

Don’t be THAT Guy (or Girl)!

• That gets too drunk, too loud, too obnoxious, and gets the group banned from the bar

• That follows the CEO around like a valet

• That publicly and successfully seduces someone that could be describe as “easily obtainable”

• That gets into a fight with a coworker

• That says “You know that stripper really has the hots for me, I mean serious”

Remember the Difference between “Friends” and “Co-Workers”

• Friends will help you move. Co-workers may grow up to be your boss one day. Act accordingly.

Pick up at least One Tab

• Buy the boss a drink if you can

Bring Cab Fare Everywhere

• That “Nice Restaurant” your buddy is recommending is really a line-dancing club with nachos being the most robust thing on the menu.

Act interested, take Notes

• Act bored and it will be noticed

You cant make a good reputation at the sales meeting, but you can create a bad one

• If you need help staying on the straight and narrow, just imagine the following email/text message going from one coworker to another : “You know that <Insert Your Name Here> crys after sex?”

Your goal = Make Your Boss Look Good

Several years ago, we had a sales meeting that included a very nice outdoor function, complete with lobster, beer, volleyball, etc. Awesome. One of our Sales Reps, Don, Remember Don? We’ve talked about Don (see Legend of Don tag).

Anywho, Don shows up wearing shorts, with tube socks. In one of his socks was a bulge that was “unnatural”. This unnatural bulge was so noticeable that someone snapped a picture.

While it would be rude to speculate what was in the aforementioned bulge, I did notice that the buffet was picked clean.

Later during our forecast strategy session, Don let these little gems fly:

• “I plan to have a 50% close rate”

• “Because when it comes down to it, its all about “A…. B…. C…….Always….Be….Closing”

While he was a personable guy, there was great relief a few months later when Don was let go.

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