So Our Local Sex Shop Closed…..

Thanks to internet-based communications and some progressive employers, my family and I have been able to live in my wife’s hometown of Valdosta, GA for the past 20 years.

Located on the Georgia/Florida border, to ask if this far South is considered to be in the ultra-conservative “Bible Belt” is akin to asking if Karl Rove is a bit political.

Recently, while driving North to Atlanta, I noticed that one of our Interstate-focused businesses was announcing its looming demise by the foreboding “Going Out of Business” banner slapped diagonally across its billboards.

As described on the billboard, the days of “The House of Love“, the home for all of your adult entertainment needs and marital supplies (at low outlet prices) were numbered.

With three hours left on my drive, I pondered what may have caused the business to fail. With my wife’s junior league pedigree, active Phi Mu alumni status, and the fact that we sired a girl, we have no need for things described as “adult”, “marital”, or “entertaining”, so I have no first-hand knowledge.

My first guess was pressure from local civic and religious groups. When Hooters opened up down here you would have thought Beelzebub came through on a recruiting trip. Lord help the husband who comes home with suspicious chicken wing sauce on his shirt. “So, where did you get this? Satan’s Drive Thru?”

Be that as it may, one business that thrived in this area, both geographically and SIC-code wise, was one that advertised with a sign that simply read “We Are Butt Naked”.

So the demand was there, very little competition, and the geography was perfect. So what was it that caused the business to fail?

THOL was located near the entrance to an outlet mall and had positioned itself as an outlet store.

To those of you who have never set foot inside a single-wide trailer, voluntary attended a tractor pull, or have prayed for an acquittal, let me clue you in. An outlet mall is a retail outlet where factory overruns and slightly “imperfect” merchandise is sold, usually at a 30% to 50% discount.

My hypothesis is that the owners of The House of Love did not realize that there are certain areas in which the average consumer is not really willing to cut corners in an effort to save a few bucks.

Can you imagine the torque on the support chains of the Vietnamese Intimacy Cradle? I mean seriously , do you really want to be wondering where the factory screwed up on this contraption when you and your spouse get a combined weight of 500lbs swinging from the rafters?

How about the Thunderstick 3000? Get an electrical short in that, and someone is going to the hospital.

Day-old body jelly? Don’t get me started.

For those readers whom I have not permanently offended, here’s the point; when we were selling during the dot com melt down we were in panic mode. “We will not be beat on price”, “Show me any competitor’s price and I’ll match it”, “How about logo golf shirts for you, your team, and your extended family”?

Don’t panic.

Keep in mind, if you are selling anything serious, your prospect’s Executive Sponsor will have to stake his reputation/career on the selected vendor. As The House of Love has taught us, low outlet prices can scare the heck out of people.

Know your value proposition, know your prospect’s business, and only discount when you get something in return.